Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
