You really coming over, don't trick.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
