Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So many bounce houses so little time
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
