what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
