so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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