Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
