ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
