I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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