Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
