So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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