i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
