Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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