Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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