you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
