I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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