Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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