these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
