3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my liver is dry heaving
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
