Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
wow bdsm is so cute
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
