I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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