sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
