Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
