Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
