3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
