i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
