Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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