So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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