Heybabeimwearingurpanties
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
