he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
