this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
