OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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