so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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