doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nobody cheats on THIS.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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