More tranny stories later!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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