great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
this boner is exhausting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
