So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
