Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
