I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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