Can i not drive my cunt home
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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