He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
