Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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