Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
