i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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