pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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