you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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