I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
