cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
