eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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