lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
