I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
